Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Best Places to Sell?

Posted: 12/11/2012 in Personal
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I thought I would turn to the wonderful bloggersphere for advice. I’m looking to sell a few things (games, gadgets, books, you know the usual). I know there are the big websites such as Amazon, Play and Ebay but I’m wondering what the best sites are that don’t charge a booking fee? I’m in the UK for reference. I’d appreciate your comments and help! 🙂

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 There are points in time when you are forced to take a deep hard look at yourself. The last month has been that time to me. Granted I haven’t been through anything really bad. It’s not like I’ve lost my home, or been ran over by a parked milk float but it doesn’t have to be for you to realise when you have to take action, and a number of events have made me realise it was time.

 Do you ever dream about things, really want things to happen, but when you sit down and really think about it, you realise that you’ve just been cruising, that you really wanted things that meant so much to you, but on the other hand you weren’t taking the other parts of your life seriously, to let your dreams materialize. The term “going with the flow” is something that I’ve used myself very often, and up until recently I thought that it was a good thing, but I now realise that I need to grab things by the scruff of their neck. Things aren’t going to kick into gear themselves, I need to make them happen.

  The first obvious one for me, is my physical appearance, of which I have a very low opinion of. I know I need to get myself a bit more trim and it’s something I will be able to fully achieve when I go on regular walks once I’m fully healed from the operation. It’s true that looks aren’t everything, but it’s also true that sometimes when you make a slight change, you feel better within yourself, you feel more confident, you feel that you can take on the world with just a box of vinyl’s and a cricket bat.

 To coincide with the above, I even want to slightly adjust my hobbies. I’ve mentioned it before, but I no longer want to be in my room either playing video games or watching dvd’s. I want to get on my feet and I want to walk. Where I used to spot a path I didn’t recognise, I now want to turn and walk down it just to see where it goes. When I have time off work I want to pick a train station at random (finances permitting), and explore that town. To record my visits and my day via photographs. Over the past year I’ve been made to see just how photographs can capture a moment, a view, a memory and I intend to do that for myself. Again this won’t start until I’m fully fit, but I no longer wish to play video games 24/7 (don’t get me wrong I still want to play them, just not how I used to).

 I mentioned finances just, and that brings me to my job. I’m the first to admit that I haven’t really gave it my all for a little bit now. Partly because of what I’ve been carrying but also because I’ve been cruising along. Granted it’s not the most demanding job the world, or is it? I’ve come to think that it could be if I put my mind to it. It’s about time I put my head down and focused on the job at hand, and when I go back that’s exactly what I plan on doing. There’s a time for Twitter, for my personal life, and while I’m at work, that isn’t it.

 Finally which is also vastly important, and one I’m working on right now, is some mental traits. I’m trying to not be so negative about things, to see things in a more positive light. For example, over the last week, the UK has been bathed in some stunning sunshine. In the past I would’ve gone “oh my god, it’s too hot, roll on the winter”, but this time, I’m embracing it. It’s amazing how you can lift yourself up when you look at things more positively. The other one is that I need to stop worrying about every little thing. It’s possible to care without always worrying. Those two things are probably my biggest demons, and if I must say myself, I’m on the way to thrashing them.

 I’d love to write and blog some more, but while I’m trying to figure myself out a bit, I don’t actually know what I should be commentating on, so until then, I’ll probably just ramble.

 I apologize if this post bored anyone, it was a bit of a ramble, a bit of a mess. I never thought the last month would go how it has gone, but while it still plays in my mind, it’s made me realise that I need to get moving. As a dear friend of mine said “you can’t make other people happy unless you can make yourself happy” and I would like to add to that. “You can’t help others, you can’t sort others out, if you aren’t prepared to help yourself or sort yourself out”

 Thanks for reading this ramble. I will leave you with this one photo I took on Monday which I fell in love with. It’s nothing special, but I really like it.

At the time of writing this it’s 13:30 and I’m exhausted. Why am I exhausted? Well I’ve just been for a walk that normally would take 20-30 minutes but today took an hour. Why exactly did it a take an hour? Well for those who keep up with my infrequent blog posts will know that I’m slowly recovering from an operation on my lower back to remove an infection, and today was the furthest I have walked since the operation on April 10th. It’s a start mind and something that I need to do every day to get my stamina in my legs back. There are probably quite a few people who are thinking “that doesn’t sound a problem to me” but when you factor in that I’ve spent the best part of the last 31 days lying on my sides then you can probably imagine why it’s worn me out. It’s not all bad though as I managed to get one or two decent pictures 🙂

just leaving my house, at this stage I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to go left here and just walk around the block or if I wanted to challenge myself I turn right, which would mean me making the walk to Madeley. I also had one eye at the heavens which were getting increasingly threatening. Despite this I decide to go left!

After walking through an alley I came to this hill which as it was going downwards was a piece of cake. There are houses around me here and at the very bottom you can just make out some shops. One photo which I would’ve taken but there were too many people hovering near the window was a news agents that had a big poster up saying “We sell top up here! BT Cellnet, One to One, Orange, Vodafone!” Nothing like being a decade out of date. As you can see the skies were looking increasingly threatening.

Walking down the bottom of that hill and turning left I eventually came to this junction. It’s absolutely awful. There are no traffic lights and there are 4 different roads in which you can come onto it. It’s not a nice place to cross when it’s really busy as you don’t know if the drivers are going to turn in or keep going round and half of them indicate at the last-minute when at all. So far I was feeling alright, but the challenge was yet to come, as I would be going where the two red cars are heading, which is up a great big hill, this I knew would be the biggest test for me. Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of the hill itself as the clouds finally gave in and unleashed their rain. It was only a short, sharp shower but still.

Eventually I made it up to the top of the hill and to our local Tesco‘s. By this stage I was feeling pretty drained. I knew it would as I went through the exact same thing last year and I also know that as long as I keep doing it daily then it will get easier and easier. Heading home was quite easy for half the journey as that hill I had to walk up I now could walk down, however the first hill you saw in the picture I now had to walk up! This was not easy as by now I had very little energy left. I got home around 12:00, had my chicken and basically fell asleep for an hour.

I’m still being visited by nurses daily to get my dressing on my wound changed, but more and more the responsibility is drifting over to me. Their job is just to make sure the wound is clean and that is fully dressed and protected. It’s up to me to channel my focus into getting me back on my feet so that when I get the go ahead, I can return to work in full swing and can get back to enjoying what I enjoy to do AND maybe picking up an extra one or two things that I’ve had plenty of time to think about whilst I’ve been off.

It’s not a case of “you know, I might do this if I feel like it.” It’s a case of “I have to do this”. And you know what? I will! 🙂

Firstly I would like to make an apology. Well I’m not sure I am making an apology, but hey I’m British so I can get away with. I’m once again going to deviate into personal territory but it’s my blog so I’m allowed! If that’s okay with you that is? Yes? Good! <Insert smiley face here>

As some of you have probably read here or have seen on my tweets on Twitter, I had an operation around 16 days ago. Now because the operation was so low on my back, it has meant that so far I haven’t been able to sit down yet, showering isn’t an option due to the dressing and April 10th was the last time I set foot outside the house. The problem with this is, that it gives you far too much time to think.

So what have I been thinking about? Well for those who don’t want to read on … I’ve been thinking about everything. From relationships to my physique, from how I miss going to work just because it passes the time, to where I’ve been, where I am and where I’m going. I’ve thought about what I want to start doing more when I’m healed again, to what I need to do to get my finances in order. It may seem a lot to some, or to other it may seem like nothing at all, but when you spent the last 2 weeks lying on your bed with this swirling around inside you, well it can start to really beat at you and get you down.

Relationship

Thankfully this isn’t a worry. I’ve been with my other half (shameless plug towards her blog here). for just over a year now, and I can honestly say that I’ve never been happy in a relationship. There are certain things that get to me sometimes. Living in different towns (okay so Derby is a city but who’s counting?), really sucks when you’re like this. I can’t travel to see her and until I’m mobile and she has two days off in a row then it would be silly to ask her to spend £27 on a return ticket  just to go back that same evening. Would I like that? Of course I would. Is it feasible? Absolutely. Does it make common sense? Absolutely not.

There have been times during this when I wish I could talk to her more, as it does get real lonely when you’re stuck between the same four walls, but in reality of course that isn’t possible. Although the question that pops into my head every now and again, is “am i good enough for her?”. I hope I am and I haven’t been given any indication that I’m not so I would class that as a good sign.

Physique

I’m not the slimmest person in the world and I’m definitely not the most well toned person in the world and 85% of the time that doesn’t bother me, but recently I’ve started to look at myself and think about it more and more. I know what needs to be done but my problem is that I’m so laid back that every time I go to do something, I think “ah it’s fine, there’s no rush, I can always do it later” and by the time that I think “you know what? I should really do that now!”, it’s too late.

Now going to the gym isn’t an option. I’m not that sort of person, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be more pro-active in my health. I could eat better food, I could go for walks (ties in lovely with the next one), and just take general better care of myself. No one is making me think this, in face the only person who’d opinion I really listen to on this, says I’m fine, but mentally it’s slowly there in the back of my head, just gently eating away at me.

What I should do more

Personally one thing I’ve always been interested in but have never really done anything about it, is to take photographs, i’m not as prolific in the taking photograph area as my other half is but it’s still something that I’m interested in. I’ve always believe that if you can capture the right image, then you can say more in that one shot then you can in 1000 words. This is one of the reasons why I want to take more walks when I’m able to, to take a path I haven’t been down and think “oh that looks interesting” *click*. Far too often when I have a choice I stay wrapped up in my own little bubble which is my bedroom, and when I have to stay in my bedroom I realise that I should be out in the fresh air more. I’m not a sporty person but you don’t have to be to enjoy the outdoors.

Financially

For a bit now I’ve been spending above my means. I haven’t been getting myself into debt, but what I have been doing is buying stuff I don’t really need, just because I can. What I need to do is work out how much my out-goings each month are, and see how much that roughly leaves me with each month, then I need to decide how much I should put to one side and how much I can spend. At the moment I’m not keeping track of this but luckily I’ve picked up on it before it has spiralled out of control. To generate some extra money I’ve started to sell stuff on Play and Hot Deals UK (that place should give me commission for the amount of links I’m starting to give it!), but if I don’t get more stringent, that could become a band-aid for a bullet wound and it’s something that I can not allow to happen.

Self Confidence / Self Worry

One thing about me is that I’m not the most confident person in the world, and sometimes I worry far too much over things. There are occasions when I over-think about something and well without going into details. Sometimes I try to create a barrier to protect myself and this comes across as if I’m being stubborn. Now I am a naturally stubborn person but not everything that comes across as me being stubborn is actually me being stubborn. Sometimes it’s my defensive mechanisms kicking into gear. Unfortunately I’m yet to figure out how to conquer this section, but I know I need to. The last thing I want to do is end up like Mr Heckles in Friends.

Conclusion

 I realise that this entire post probably seems like a bit of a ramble, I know the stuff that I need to do, but unfortunately I’m still weeks away from being able to start it. Until then I guess I’ll carry on thinking. I’ve tried everything to stop me from thinking. From buying a 2nd Xbox, to trying to reconnect with WoW, to even downloading and playing EVE Online, however nothing seems to be working. I wish I could find something that would!

 I hope you guys who take the time to read my blog don’t mind while I drift into personal mode here. For those who have had the patience to read this blog since last year you will recall that on the 1st June 2011, I had an operation on what’s called “Pilonidal Sinus“. The post from last year can be found here (warning there is an image on there that well, isn’t safe for those who get light-headed quickly). When I had that done I was told it would be a long healing process but there’s an 85% chance that, that will be that. Of course I fell into the 15% category!

 On 10th April this year, I had to go in for another operation for the exact same thing, so four days later and with probably another three weeks off work (my guess), I decided to write about it. This time however, I’m not going to write about the injury itself, but instead I’m going to write about the surrounding issues, both mentally and physically.

 For the first 48 hours after the operation, things feel great. You feel a hundred times better and the thought of lying in bed watching Netflix on my Roku and playing games on my laptop and mobile phone sounds wonderful and for that period it is, however it’s after that when things start to turn and that’s where I’m at now.

 You see after 48 hours your nerves start growing back in the area that was cut out, so the feeling goes from a small, gentle throb that you can tolerate to a feeling that when you move, you just want to shout out and punch something to try to take the focus away from that area. On top of that, after spending now 4 days just lying on your side, you can image that your hips and thighs are very sore. Lying on your stomach isn’t very comfortable and lying on your back is completely out of the question. You have to wake yourself up in the night to lift yourself up so you can lie on the other side. This feeling is while I’m taking Co-codamal so that shows how painful it can be. Even coughing causes “ripples” down your body which gives you a sharp reminded at what you’ve had done.

 The worst part though (and yes I consider this the worst part), is the mental issues. After 4 days of “isolation” you start to get extremely frustrated, lonely and bored stiff. You see, walking down stairs takes a lot of effort and for the moment the pain afterwards just isn’t worth it, so it’s been four days stuck in the bedroom. You switch on the tv, and switch it back off, because you know nothing on there will distract you. You turn on the laptop and your just like “I’ve done this constantly since Tuesday, enough!”. Then finally there’s the constant tiredness, what with the strong painkillers and your body trying to fix itself.

 I know I’ll be worth it in the end, but unless you’ve ever had an operation where your stuck in one room for a long period of time then it really is hard to explain how tough it is mentally. I’m trying to remedy that though, at least temporarily. On one of my favourite sites, “Hot UK Deals“, someone was selling their 120gb Xbox 360 for £80 with delivery included in the cost. I thought that was a decent price. I’ve always been tempted by an Xbox and with my other half now having one that temptation got stronger. It was either that or an Asus Transformer, and as much as I would like an Android tablet, it’s not really something that I need right now, what with me having a Blackberry Playbook.

As you can see it isn’t all doom and gloom, but sometimes you know what they say. You feel better sometimes when you get it out of your system and that is how it feels for writing this. I hope it hasn’t come across as me just complaining, and thank you for reading :). (Yes I did just put a cheesy smiley face at the end of this post. See, here’s another – 🙂 )

 So recently I have been finding myself more and more detached with gaming, in brief spells I still enjoy a multiplayer game of Modern Warfare 3 or even a trip down memory lane with Championship Manager 2001/02, but compared with how I used to play games my interest in them has decreased dramatically.

 I first started “gaming”, when I was around 7 years old and I was purchased a Spectrum ZX. The very first game I had was Bullseye and you needed to use the gun to “aim” the dart. It was good fun and all, but as I played around with an Amstrad CPC464, a BBC Microcomputer (why it was called micro I’ll never know as the floppy disc was a big as my house), and an Amiga A500, I was more interested in writing programming code. By programming code I mean…

10. Print “Would you like to see this message again?”

20. If 10 = Y then 10 else 30

30. End.

So the above might not be exactly how I used to write it as that was a long time ago and I’ve since forgotten, even when I had a SNES and a Mega Drive my gaming didn’t go above “moderately interested”. It’s only really when I got a Playstation 2 and a PC that could actually do more than just blink at me, was when I really started to get into games.  I would spend hours upon hours playing Smackdown! and Grand Theft Auto 3 on the PS2 and Civ 2 or CM97/98 on the PC, but again It only really rose to “slightly addicted”.

This all changed in 2003 when I moved into my current property. All of a sudden I could get broadband, so I called you BlueYonder (who are now Virgin Media) and all of a sudden I was away from dial-up with my own dedicated internet connection. What did this mean? This meant that I could play multiplayer games and this is where most other things basically ground to a halt. I was hooked initially on a small game called Uniball, before moving to Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory, occasionally I would dip my toes into Civ 3, Civ 4, CM01/02 but online gaming is where my attention was. This was when the big juggernaut hit me.

World of Warcraft! Now it’s unfair to blame myself sitting in front of the computer hour after hour on WoW as I was already at that stage, but it definitely rooted me down to the spot. During the worst periods, on my days off, I would set my alarm for 7am, and play right through until 1am, only taking breaks to eat, drink and visit the bathroom. In 2009 when I decided to quit WoW, I went straight into Call of Duty and played online on that instead. The only time I was ever able to break this cycle was during 2010, when I went through a 2 month phase of getting hooked on the Warcraft novels. Since 2012, well since November 2011 really, this vicious routine has slowly been altering. It had started with me playing less and less WoW. It has got to the point where at the moment I will sometimes play for an hour or two once a fortnight. At first it was replaced with Team Fortress 2 or Modern Warfare 3, and whilst I still play the latter, even that I find myself becoming less interested in.

It has got to a stage now, where I will load up a game then within 10 minutes, I will go “you know what? I don’t want to play this”, and thinking that it’s just the game I will go load up another game only for the same thing to happen. Is it that I’ve finally burnt myself out when it comes to gaming? Is it that gaming nowadays is nowhere near as enjoyable as they once where? Is it that I’m finally thinking that it’s about time I put the “joy pad” down and ventured into other hobbies? I really don’t know, it could be one of these or it could be a mixture of all three.

For most people this would probably be a no brainer. For some people they will turn around and say “well if you aren’t enjoying doing that, then go do something else”, and here’s the problem. Do what? Over the past 9 years the majority of my free time when I’m by myself has been spent playing online games. I need to find something that grabs my interest, I need to find something that I will enjoy and that overtime I could become good at.

I like to write. Even though my posting has been  pretty sparse recently. I do enjoy typing on a keyboard and posting articles. My biggest issue though is that quite often I will sit there with a topic in mind and …. NOTHING! Absolutely nothing will come out.  It’s definitely something I will keep doing though.

Nickie, my other half, as well as being an excellent writer is also a fantastic photographer. I look at some of the photo’s she takes and I wonder to myself “could I do that?” The answer to that is maybe again, although not with as much certainty as writing. With her permission I might show some of the photographs that she has online. It’s the way she can capture objects that makes me go “wow, these are fantastic shots”. Anyway!

Another option is reading. Now I’ve never been a heavy reader. I’ve tried on numerous occasions, even at one stage purchasing a Kindle, and whilst I will start enthusiastic, very quickly i will get bored and will either switch off, or go do something else. I’m pretty sure that for me, reading is off the table, at least in large quantities anyway.

I guess only time will tell what my true hobbies should be. Gaming? Writing? Reading? Or something completely different? Right now, I have no idea, but I hope I will find out soon. 🙂

This is going to be a little bit rambly but its something 

throughout my life I have never been good at making choices. It’s not that I make bad choices, it more the fact that on occasions I take so long to decide on something that when I finally make a decision that I really want to make, either the moment has passed or I have managed to cast enough seeds of doubt in my own mind to not go ahead with something.

A couple of prime examples of this. The first one was when Blizzard announced the World of Warcraft annual pass. I had recently started playing on the US servers as that is where my other half plays however my previous character of 6 years was on the EU servers. I spent days just torturing myself about whether or not I should commit the pass to my new US account or my old EU veteran. For most people it would have been a straight decision one way or the other, but for me I constantly went through all of the pros and cons. Still being unable to make a firm decision, I basically went “sod it” and committed to the US account.

A second example that some of you will be aware of if you followed my Twitter account last week was that I was deliberating on whether or not I should purchase myself an 8gb iPod Touch to have just as a media/app player. For days i was like “do I really need one?” and “it will just be an app player which is what you want”. This indecision went on and on until eventually I took the plunge. Turns out I couldn’t get on with the iOS software so I returned it, but still, it was another example of a decision that took two or three days longer to make then i should have.

Another example is that whenever I am walking around town with the missus, she will ask me “where do you want to go?” and virtually every time I will go “I don’t know” or “I don’t mind”. Some people call it “being laid back and relaxed” and 85% of the time I will probably agree, however the other 15% is filled up with me thinking “for once will you decide on something”. I try not to show it but it does annoy me sometimes. I get frustrated with myself and instead of deciding I just try to forget about it. This does not work, instead the decision just festers in the back of my mind until it bursts to the forefront of my mind once more.

I would love to be someone who can just decide on something that second but unfortunately that’s not how i am wired…